Learning to Let Go
While I was surfing through BE this afternoon, I came across a site that had a meme about learning to let go. I thought I had bookmarked the site, but when I went to check, I couldn’t find it again. That means I can’t give proper credit and a link here, so I apologize for that.
At any rate, here are three things that I need to learn to let go of.
1. My high school/college years. No, this doesn’t mean I’m partying ’til I puke every weekend or anything like that! It just means that I made a ton of mistakes during those years, and continue to beat myself up over those missteps even now (15 years later). I need to realize that there’s nothing I can do to change the past, that everyone does stupid things between the ages of 16-22, and that I just need to look at where I am now and be grateful that things have worked out so well.
2. My former friend MJ. This sort of ties in with the above, but also goes beyond that, so I’m giving it a number of its own. MJ was my best friend in high school and my roommate in college. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out so well for us when we were away at school. We ended up drifting apart, and though we reconnected a couple of times after college, I haven’t heard anything from her in over five years.
The problem is, I’m having a hard time accepting that all ties should be severed. We went through so much together and she was such a huge part of my life at the time that I can’t believe we simply don’t have anything to do with each other now. We both know how to get in touch with each other, so the fact that we haven’t done so in years ought to be enough to signal that I need to move on. But I can’t do it, and am planning to email her again sometime soon. Sigh.
3. Trying to impress people all the time. I went to school with a bunch of rich kids, and did my damnedest trying to keep up with them in terms of brand name clothes and all that stuff. Of course, I couldn’t compete when everyone else got BMWs and Saabs for their birthdays while I was still hoofing it to school.
These days I still try to impress people by buying expensive name-brand items that I don’t need. From my Prada shoes to Gucci handbag and Cartier watch, I own a bunch of crap that I hardly ever use and never should have bought in the first place. I need to quit caring about what other people think and just be myself for a change.
Whew, I feel better for having gotten this stuff out in the open! Now, if only I can actually make these changes stick…!